Do you know how to give a cat & dog a pill
Subject:* How to Give a Cat a Pill (& Dog) 1. Pick up cat and
cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.
Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat is mouth
and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right
/>hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth
and swallow. 2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. 5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. 6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees. Hold front and rear paws . Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly withone hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat is throat vigorously. 7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail. Get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. 8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. 9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans. Drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse is forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. 10. Retrieve cat from neighbor is shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band. 11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. 12. Call fire department to retrieve the dang cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. 13. Tie the little devil is front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down. 14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way How To Give A Dog A Pill 2. Toss it in the air.
I want to be your agent and get you gigs at comedy clubs.
Seriously!
Hilarious, Wiz, & so true! When I wrap Jedi is pill in bacon,
she snatches it..eats the bacon & spits out the pill. So I have to use the
''cat procedure,'' get an armhold around her neck & try to pry her mouth
open. Jedi is jaws are made of steel. It takes a tremendous amount of
strength to pry her mouth open & pop in the pill. Then, if you don't toss
it down her gullet far enough, she simply spits it out, so my floor is
littered with half dissolved, gummy pills. I shall save ur hysterical description of medicating a cat & send it to friends. We're an army of cat & doglovers around here & always need a good laugh! Thanks!
That is funny , but so true. Usually, dogs are a lot easier to
give a pill to than cats! Thanks!
I had a time giving my elderly German Shepherd meds. I mixed
them in peanut butter, wrapped them in cheese,, stuck them in between
chichen and so on and so on. He got 3/4 of the med he was supposed to have
and i gave up. I decided, maybe he knew something I didnt.
I give my cat her thyroid meds two times a day, I just sit her
down, open her mouth from the back of the jaw and put it at the back of
her throat. And I give my dog his pills with peanut butter. Stick the pill
in it and waalaa, he eats the peanut butter and the pill and never even
knew he got the pill
ha ha i went through something very similar the other day, i've
got scratches everywhere.and then after i thought i finally won, the darn
cat vomited it all up on the floor..i'm getting an injection next time.
I've read this before- and it is so true! I'd rather pill 100
dogs in one day than have to pill one cat.
Lol, yes - it is called the cat rodeo !
Actually the pill giving syringe is quite good although you still need an
unsuspecting helper with a thick towel to hold the cat down. Note- it has
to be a thick towel as an irate cat can shred cloth in a microsecond.
Also I do have one that managed to bite the end off the pill giver, shred
a dressing gown, claw the holder in the face with some airborne ninja kick
run halfway down the garden & THEN spit out the end of the syringe & pill. Took 3 days to get near that cat again & my assistant quit.
LOL!!! Funny! Thanks for the laugh of the day.
Thanks for the humorous start to my day. That was neat. I
still like cats though. But, they are ''independent'' creatures! The
''trick'' is---after you get the pill into their mouth, you blow into
their face.
this is a scream
Ha ha that is funny.well you can buy this thingy at the store
that you simply put the pill in and stick it in the back of their throat.
Otherwise open their mouth, using your finger gently push the pill to the
back of their throat.
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